ABDL Hypnosis MP3 By ABJane

Hello lovely followers.

I just wanted to tell you all about my exciting new project! I am making ABDL Hypnosis tracks for regression, acceptance, arousal and all of the above! My first track, a 5 minute demo, is available on Etsy.


When I’ve hit my target sales for this track, I will release the next one, and onwards. All customers are welcome to send me feedback, requests and ideas so that the future tracks are tailored to YOU. You can do this through the Etsy messaging service.

The future tracks will be 15 minutes long, or more, and will be rather more expensive because of this. However I will be buying a new microphone and the most hypnotic of backing tracks, so the quality will be better than ever. This said, the 8 lovely babies who have bought my demo so far have found it delightfully trancey… so do grab your bargain and become part of my Beta community so that you get to have your desires input into my creations.

So with no further ado, here is the bio for my first ABDL hypnosis MP3…

Who owns you? Mummy does.

What part of you does she own? All of you.

Mummy infects your thoughts and takes control of your mind.

Submit helplessly.

Be transformed from a strong man into a submissive baby.

Don’t worry, I may be deep inside your head, but I’ll take perfect care of you from here.

Climb onto my lap and let grown up cares melt away.

This is a 5 minute demo track. It features my voice superimposed on the most relaxing music.

Let my words relax and regress you to a place where adult worries don’t exist.

Serving suggestion: best enjoyed in a diaper with your pacifier and plushie at hand.


Marks And Spencer AB Clothing Review 

Trusted British high street brand, Marks and Spencer, have unwittingly launched into the adult baby market. Along with their Easy Dressing school uniform – something my autistic son benefits from no end – they also have larger-than-usual sizes of snap crotch vests as part of their new special needs adaptive range. Now I just happen to know that I fit an age 15-16 of M&S school uniform, so at £5.50 for a 100% cotton vest featuring those adorable overlaps on the shoulders that nearly all ABDL brands miss out on, I had to have me a go!

I was not disappointed. I don’t know about you, but picking up my  ageplay essentials from the M&S kids range is what regression dreams are made of! When reviewing clothing from such a trusted brand, I hardly need mention how high quality this pure cotton vest is. The size is perfect for a small adult (ladies 8-10), and the below product description illustrates just why they even managed to make the length perfect to be worn over diapers!

This comfortable cotton short sleeve bodysuit is available for ages 9-16, making them ideal for children with special needs. Nappies are kept securely in place and can’t be reached by wandering hands, and there are no loose hems or separate items of clothing to get tangled up in.

All in all, these are an absolute find. The price you pay, the quality you get, and the fact you can order and collect them on the high street means these, albeit plain in design, are possibly one of the coolest ABDL products around right now. At £5.50 the styling is up to you – tie dye, iron on patches, buttons, bows, or leave them authentic – you decide. But this isn’t just any adult baby wear, this is M&S adult baby wear!

My Subspace Room

“Being spanked is the most wonderful thing in the world. The place my head goes… Like heaven in Bruce Almighty… That big open empty white room… My head goes so empty and light… But without than man who plays God in…”

Daddy: “Morgan Freeman?”

Me: “Yeah without him in. *starts laughing hysterically* oh no Daddy! Morgan Freeman is in my subspace room!”


We had this beautifully high as a kite exchange earlier after I’d had my bum most wonderfully hit with the paddle, bath brush, cane and a belt. I was well and truly sent to subspace- the most amazing feeling as ever – something so hard to express the immense perfection of. Daddy had cuffed my wrists to my ankles so I was on my back in diaper position. Just being cuffed in itself made me feel so safe. Over and over I thought to myself “please never set me free. I am the most free when I am bound.” It’s true. I am the most safe when I am totally reliant on Daddy to look after me. When I am vulnerable to him, the way in which he cares for me makes me the happiest girl on earth. And by cares for me, I mean abuses me as much as I mean treats me with such respect and watches over me so closely so that he is only abusing me in ways that fill me with joy.

It’s so mindblowing to have someone who cares for you enough that they will give you that pain. That they can read you, build it up, push you, respond to you. For so long the impacts hurt… I like that first part just as much as subspace. That is the part where I feel each blow rush through my whole body. I can’t block the pain so I revel in it. I savour it. It is delicious, it is home. It is what I need. And someone loves me enough to give it me freely! 

At some point somehow the cuffs ended up done behind me not in front of me, and Daddy caned my thighs. Just 5 decisive blows. The sting pierced my by then empty mind. Then he grabbed my hair – I know when he does that he does it for me. It’s not something he did at first, wasn’t a him thing. He does it because it makes me feel the most submissive and complete I ever feel. He grabbed my hair, and sat me up looking at my thighs. The perfect cane marks that came up so easily on virgin skin. I was overwhelmed. I sobbed in awe at how cared for I am. So cared for that he will mark me! In that moment I was completely in awe of how lucky I am. I looked down at my marks with pride at being owned by Daddy.

And then more. The belt, the most divine pain. Sharp enough to feel, but thuddy enough to feel only on that subspace way of knowing there’s pain but not experiencing the pain in any way but enjoying it’s deliciousness almost simply as a fact of what you know is being done to you somewhere above the layers and layers of joy. God you don’t want it to end. Lash after lash. Utopia inside your mind. I always suddenly think, “am I dead? This is too good, I think I died.” I panic for a moment, catching my breath to check my status. Damn, alive. Oh Daddy choke me and kill me, I want to die in your arms in this supreme pleasure. Not because I am sad, because I am too happy and this is too perfect and I think maybe this exquisite empty white room in my mind is what heaven is and if it is then please may I stay forever. Then I remember the real world. Work tomorrow. This always has to end.

Next thing I’m uncuffed. I’m not sure how we got to that either but if feels so naked, exposed, unsafe. No, tie me up! I need to be bound, safe, your captive and under your control. Don’t make this end yet. I beg for the straitjacket. I’ve been craving it since last night when tidying the toys. It’s so safe in there, not left to my crazy mind but safely hugging myself, wrapped so tight, my imagination making its own padded room around me. Time has run out. Instead I settle for Daddy’s arms around me. My bum glows as I come back down to earth.

“Being spanked is the most wonderful thing in the world….”


As many of you know, I’ve been vegan for a couple of months now. At first it was an ethical choice, both for the animals involved in meat and dairy production, and for the planet. The amount of water, grain, soya etc that it takes to produce a small amount of meat is ludicrous. The deforestation both to grow these crops and to make room for the animals is devastating. I’ve been vegetarian more of my life than not, and getting back into yoga I knew I had to open my eyes up again to the way the earth is raped and animals suffer just to provide what we think is necessary for a healthy and enjoyable diet.

From the age of 12 to 19 I was anorexic. I ate one meal a day – the evening meal my parents cooked me. Even that I’d only pick at. I hated my reflection and I hated how the weight on the scales went up by 2 stone just by going through puberty. Controlling my eating also felt like I was able to control a small part of my life, which meant a lot to me considering I was being sexually abused weekly for 4 of those years. Being able to ignore hunger and not cave in felt a victory over my body, and since I didn’t exercise this was the only way I was going to feel that sort of achievement.

When I was pregnant with my son I stopped being vegetarian and ate like a horse. From the moment I found out he was inside me, he was my only focus. His wellbeing meant everything to me so I ate whatever I thought he wanted. It seemed my anorexia was overcome, until I gave birth and realised I had somehow ended up a size 20. From a size 8. Starvation had to resume.

So fast forward to now. I exercise which gives me the same sense of victory over my body that starvation once gave me. What’s more, it gives me a reason to make sure I’m eating properly, to fuel my running and yoga, and to build as much muscle as possible. So at this point you’d think meat should be what I’m chomping on to the max, not cutting out. But I dislike meat and wasn’t cooking any at home. Protein just wasn’t happening for me other than in powder form.

And here we arrive at me becoming vegan. I read up on protein, and love that I can get it from hummus, peanut butter, quorn, tofu and soy milk, beans and pulses and lots of other deliciously healthy food. Since becoming vegan I eat my 5 a day every day, I have cereal cos I’m not worried about how fattening cows milk is (which means I’m also getting fibre and iron that I wasn’t before), similarly I get enough calcium because I happily drink soya light where as I avoided even skimmed cows milk. 

Most importantly, I feel in control because I am restricting my food intake. But by restricting the type of food I’ve managed to allow myself to increase the quantity. I now don’t skip meals because I’m satisfied with how healthy my meal plan is. I have “treats” like a quorn sausage sarnie which I’d have punished myself and starved after back when it was meat. I have vegan chocolate that I allow myself a row of a day. Before, chocolate could lead to 2 days not eating.

It may seem odd but it’s working for me. I’m enjoying experimenting with food, even my own vegan baking (where pancakes are allowed because they’re vegan and thus my mind can permit me to eat them without feeling fat!) Yes, maybe I should have dealt with the way I thought about food rather than finding this elaborate way around a problem I’ve had for years. But I am eating so much food, and such a balanced diet, that I’ll stick to this method and embrace the freedom to enjoy stuffing my face at last! 

Control Is Given

This weekend, Daddy and I celebrated 3 years of me being collared to him. On Friday night I served him a 3 course meal and champagne in my maids dress. The dress is just play for us, but the servitude was anything but a game.

On Saturday afternoon we sat down to a meal at our favourite restaurant with a print out of my rules. Across 5 full pages of A4, in font size 10, the rules are quite a read. They range from my daily routine, to my behaviour towards Daddy, to etiquette, punishments, and how we communicate. At that dinner table we read the entire document, making sure each rule was still relevant and desired by both parties. With very few amendments, the pages were tucked into my handbag for later that evening.

At The Grey Area, an amazing new ageplay and BDSM fusion event, Daddy and I had a collaring anniversary ceremony in front of scores of our friends. I knelt opposite my Daddy and I began to read out my rules. I spoke with pride, sharing the way I live every day of my life with a room full of people. After section 2 of 5 I looked up at my Daddy. He nodded, a look of approval and agreement. I stopped at that point and the celebrant asked if I recommitted to my rules and to my submission. I looked up at the person I give all control to and beamed “yes, Daddy”. Daddy reaffirmed his promises to me, too, and spoke from the heart about how much I mean to him. I jumped up from my knees, not because I had been dismissed but because I wanted to hug my Daddy who is my world. He held me tight, and the moment will be with me forever.

I live by a LOT of rules. They aren’t about kinky things, they’re about my time, my health, my money. They cover every aspect of my life. I can’t spend a day not feeling entirely controlled by Daddy. We don’t feel like we know anyone who lives under the level of power exchange we share. As I knelt before my Daddy, as I looked up at him and we silently communicated in the way that is so natural for us, I wondered if people thought I have too many rules.

At that moment I knew the entirety of the rules were between me and Daddy. Not reading them all in no way devalued our moment. We had just reread them in private, we had discussed them, haggled them out, sat as two equals, two adults in the boardroom. You see I asked for most of the rules. The document was typed up by me. At that table I had all the power. If I vetoed Daddys desire to have a rule, we would discuss it, but the final say would be as much mine as his. 

The rules are what I asked for. What makes Daddy special is his willingness to enforce them. If they didn’t mean as much to him as me, then I wouldn’t feel Dominated, and it would feel empty and meaningless. It is the partnership, my craving the rules, his making me keep to them, that means we have the most amazing dynamic which lasted 3 years and will go on to last a lifetime. 

I need his control, it tastes more satisfying than freedom ever did. But I know that, just as Daddy said in that ceremony with tears in his voice, he needs me just as much. He cares for me. My value to him isn’t as a sub it’s as a friend. If I chose to live without rules tomorrow he would still be by my side. He controls me because it is my deepest desire, because I give the power to him every day, because he sees me flourish under them, and because as a submissive too himself he knows how much having someone care enough to make you keep to the rules means. He knows just as much how it feels to have someone dominate you but not really hold you to the rules you crave or punish you with consistency. He knows how amazing it feels to live under someone else’s control. So he gives, not takes, and he does it wholeheartedly. My submission is just my expression of my eternal gratitude for him allowing me to live in this way.

Dotty The Pony Diapers – A Review

There is nothing that excites a babygirl quite like her Daddy treating her to new diapers. Especially when those diapers are – correct me if I’m wrong – the only all-over pink diapers on the market.

Dotty the Pony diapers have taken the AB world by storm with their princessy design and exuberant use of the best colour in the realm. Babygirls and sissies alike have been waiting for a diaper that looks like this for a very long time.

Upon first inspection let me make clear: these diapers are NOT ABU V2s. They’re not even ID Slip. Nope, they’re so thin that I was transported back to my Boots nappy wearing days. But size isn’t everything, so undeterred I set about my second favourite job to putting on new diapers: wetting new diapers!

Ok, hold up, you say. Before we get to the soggy part, there’s lots more to be said. So, these diapers have the elasticated edge that I love. The landing zone is a large film strip at the front which crinkles loudly (good or bad? You decide) and which does peel off a little at the edges if you aren’t careful. But the tabs hold super tight and I didn’t have any issue with tabs ripping when you pull them hard. They can be adjusted after wearing for a while and restick just as well as the first go.

So now we’ve got the foreplay over and done with, on to the main event. Upon first wetting of this thin diaper I can’t say I wasn’t a little worried. The sloshy feel in my diaper was not one I’m used to. So let’s get technical for a moment. There’s this thing called “wicking”. It works alongside absorbency. Incontinence products (those boring white rhings) are designed to be high wicking – they absorb the moisture ASAP to keep it away from the skin. This is best done with expensive stuff like gels and crystals and pixie dust. Cheaper products use pulp and other things which may absorb as much fluid in total, but they do it a lot slower.

To my surprise, my Dotty the Pony diaper did absorb my initial wetting. In fact it went on to hold a fair few small wettings. But from the first moment I peed, it felt sodden. Now to me that’s quite a sexy feeling… For a few minutes. Then the diaper rash begins to set in, and before long you have to change, not because you’re leaking but because you’ll be red raw if you don’t.

Now I say this is what happens with cheaper diapers, but the problem is Dotty the Pony diapers aren’t cheap! At £2 a pop, they’re bloody extortionate. Before I get hyper critical, let me say I do understand it is a small start-up company: you can see that through their only currently retailing through eBay. When you’re that small a business you can only buy-in a small amount of stock and so China wallet rapes you good and proper. However this isn’t the consumer’s fault, and with the explosion of AB diapers on the market recently, competition is tough.

I wish all the best to this UK based company, and I applaud them for their super pink design. I know the pink alone will continue to sell these diapers and I expect to see them popping up lots in ABDL porn. Visually it’s a 10/10. But for us hardcore wearers they are too pricey, thin and quick to feel wet for them to become our new cutesy playtime nappy. I will wear mine when a pink overdose is called for, but I don’t think I’ll be buying anymore.


After just over a year at therapy, we have agreed a 6 week ending period. This is a monumental point for me. I knew from the moment I recognised that I was damaged that I needed therapy. But I also took an awful lot of convincing from Daddy to have faith that therapy could work on someone as broken as me.

I stand in the strongest place I’ve ever been since the abuse began. I believe in myself. I enjoy life. I am not haunted by flashbacks. I do not break down every few weeks. When I get low, I know how to pick myself up. I feel in control of my emotions and my life. 

I never ever believed I could experience life like this. Remembering that is painful. It’s hard to think about how much hurt I carried. Now I feel almost frustrated as I want everything else in life to catch up with where i am… To progress in my job… To find a partner to share my happiness with.

I’m no longer scared of feeling ok, because it isn’t something fleeting or a sign that I’m on the peak before a fall. It is something I’m becoming comfortable with as a normality within my life now. I feel true calm, and I gain true enjoyment from the things I do.

This blog has been such a great documenting of my journey and I thank you for travelling with me. I’m glad so many of you message me to say you’ve found hope in my words, because hope is what I really desire people to take from my story. I don’t know what direction this blog will take now. I know I’ve posted a lot less regularly lately. But having my words here online means a lot to me. So thank you, and I wish you all the same peace I have found.